So the other day I was looking for a jar of jam in my pantry. That is when I made the awful discovery. I was down to my last two jars of jam. This may not seem like much of a tragedy unless you realize that it is March in the North Country. There isn't much in the way of fresh fruit available. Two jars of jam doesn't go very far either when you average ten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a week. Yes I could go to the store and buy jam, but have you met me yet?
About the only fruit available, that's worth doing anything with, is citrus fruit. So I dug out my trusty blue book, and looked up marmalade recipes. I have never made marmalade before, and had no idea what on earth I was getting into. I chopped the citrus peel, chopped the pulp. Then you have to boil the peel, then change the water and add the pulp and reboil. Then you let it sit for about eighteen hours. Then you bring it to a boil again, add the sugar, and let it boil some more. I was starting to get annoyed by the whole process until I decided to use it as a zen exercise.
I stood there stirring, and stirring, and stirring some more. I used the time to run the last couple of weeks through my head. I thought about everything I've said, and everything I wish I had the guts to say. I kept stirring and let everything go in my mind. Finally the marmalade gelled, and I could put it in the jars and processed it. In the meantime I processed the last couple of weeks. I'm at a changing point in my life. Between putting my mother in the nursing home, and making some other decisions that were just as hard, I've been through the emotional wringer. It was nice to take the time to just meditate on it. Who knew that making marmalade could also be a lesson in patience?
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