Kerouac

I wanted to talk a little about my profile picture today. The cute sleeping orange and white cat is my late cat Kerouac. I know it seems morbid to use it as my profile picture, but he was the closest thing I've ever had to a soul mate. That cat could read my mind. He could also take the finish off furniture with that rough tongue of his, but that is another story.

When I met Kerouac, he was going by the name Treble. He had this ridiculous high pitched meow. He was sitting in his cage at the adoption center in the Dewitt PetSmart. We hadn't even had our grand opening yet, and he sat there watching us go by. One day I had stopped to talk to the man running the adoption center, and had leaned against the plexiglass wall.

"Turn your head to the left, slowly" he told me. Over my shoulder there was Treble, rubbing his head against the glass as if to say "Hey you, look at me". At that moment I melted. Pat asked if I wanted to see him. And when I took him out of the cage, he burrowed his head into my neck and started purring. Needless to say, that cat chose me. He came home the very next day.

However, the name needed rethinking. It just didn't fit the little guy. He and I spent a lot of time staring at each other while we tried to come up with a new name. Nothing seemed to fit. Until I realized that the little orange patch on his chin gave him a beatnik appearance. My favorite author is Jack Kerouac. Jack didn't work. Kerouac did.

Kerouac lived with me for five years. He started slowing down. The downside to his adoption was that we had no idea how old he actually was. He was my constant companion, greeting visitors, warming my lap, sleeping on my pillow next to me. One day in October of 2009, I realized that I hadn't seen Kerouac all day. I went looking for him and found him in the corner of the laundry room. He had passed away.

I buried Kerouac on the ridge behind my parents' house, underneath the lone thorn apple tree. I think he would have liked that. I've tried to find another cat, but Kerouac was a once in a lifetime kind of friend.

For want of a working vacuum....

First off, I am the least technically inclined person you will ever meet. I am boggled by computers, digital cameras, mp3 players, even cell phones.  My old camera's menu was in German. I didn't know enough German to be able to put it back into English. On the other hand I am also dirt poor. So when my vacuum cleaner started acting up, I decided to attempt to fix it on my own.

I can do basic repairs on my vacuum. Little things like changing the belt, and taking it apart to clear clogs. So I dug out my trusty phillips head screwdriver and went to town. To get the proper visual, this happened in the morning before work. Picture me doing this in a suit, complete with skirt, pantyhose, and high heeled shoes. The belt wasn't broken, but I pulled a wad of fur out of the tube that was roughly the size of one of the pet rats. Unfortunately that didn't do the trick, so I put it aside until I could be dressed more appropriately.

A couple of days later, I pulled on my ratty sweats and favorite nasty t-shirt and really pulled the thing apart. I got out a wire hanger, and cleaned out all of the tubes, changed the belt, and changed the filters. Feeling confident, I plugged it in and turned it on. It seemed to work for a little while, then started blowing the dust back out. Sighing, I turned it off and sat on the floor trying to figure out what to do next. The last place I had to look was in the motor compartment. Unfortunately the screws holding it shut were a weird shape that my meager collection of screwdrivers just didn't cover.

So I borrowed the tools from my dad to take the blasted thing apart. Nothing. It still keeps clogging. At this point we are at the score of vacuum 3, Sharon 0. My sister in law gave me their old one, so I can at least clean. Dad said he'd take a look at mine and see if he can figure out what's going on. I will prevail. I play to win.

Today

Today was the day that I had been dreading since we moved home.

Today I felt guilty

Today I cried.

Today I told my mom I love her, and I'm sorry.

Today we put my mother in a nursing home.

Today Sucks.

I'm ready for today to be over.

Finally in a happy place.

We're having a "Biggest Loser" style weight loss challenge at work for the next couple of months. Normally this is something I get right on board with, so I did my first weigh in. As I  was getting ready to pitch in my money, I had an epiphany. What on Earth was I doing? I am happy with who I am and what I look like. And on a purely selfish note, since I'm only carrying maybe an extra fifteen pounds, there is no way I have any chance at winning this. Granted, I wasn't always so comfortable with myself. I've been super thin, and morbidly obese and neither made me happy. You know what makes me happy?

My son waking me up with a kiss on the head.

My boys smiling faces when I get home from work.

My dogs curling up with me at night.

The rare alone time I get with someone special. (ahem...hint hint.)

Pink Tulips

Cupcakes with butter cream frosting.

A full night's sleep.

Notice nothing on that list has anything to do with how I look. I am at the lowest weight I have been at in years, but that's not what's making me so happy with my life. I'm happy because I'm healthy and there are people that care about me. Neither of the boys has become a serial killer, and my life is in a good place.

So thanks, but no thanks. Extra fifteen pounds or not, I am not going to do the weight loss challenge.

Ways To Say I love You.

With Valentine's Day over for another year, I thought it would be a good time to bring out some ideas for the men in our lives to say I love you. For some reason, it seems like guys just don't like saying it. So here are some ways to show us how you feel.

1.     "Look Honey! I brought home take out! I even remembered to bring paper plates so there won't be     dishes to do afterward!"

2.     "I cleaned the litter box and took out the garbage."

3.     "Why don't you go get a pedicure and relax, I'll take care of the kids."

4.     " Here's a glass of wine for you."

5.     "You look stressed out, let me rub your shoulders."

6.     "Let's just curl up on the sofa and listen to music."

7.     "Did you get your hair done? It looks amazing."


So there you go. Try these guys. You might be surprised.     

Why is it...

Why is it:



That when you need a hug, no one is around?

That when you're exhausted, there's no way you can take a nap?

That when you absolutely do not have time to be sick, you end up in a room full of sick people?

That when you are at the end of your rope, the stress keeps piling up?

That when you sleep wrong and put a kink in your neck, there is no one to work out the knot?

That my jerk ex has someone, while I am alone?

That my zoloft seems to be less effective, right when I really need it to work harder?

Sorry, Just needed to vent. We now return to your regularly scheduled blog..........*static*............

It's been a while since I've written anything. So I thought today would be a good time to give everyone an update on what's been going on with us. It's been an interesting couple of weeks to say the least.

In the career department, I am officially a customer care representative for a furniture store. This should work out well. When I worked for the pet store, I found myself bringing home every gimpy animal in the store. I don't see myself adopting a herd of sofas. Though I do spend time looking longingly at a gorgeous chair that would look amazing in my living room. First things first though, I need to paint the living room, and get new carpet. So any furniture buying is on hold for now. As for the job itself, I enjoy it. Really, you can't ask for more than that.

As far as dating, I'm good. I'm not going to lie, I'm lonely as hell. However I know what I want and I am not willing to settle. Though finding out that my ex-husband is planning on moving in with his new girlfriend set me back a notch. I had this moment of "How the hell does that jerk get to have someone and be happy, while I go to bed alone every night with my dogs?" But it is what it is. I know the right person is out there. Patience may be a virtue, but it is not my strongest asset. I keep telling myself that I am a strong capable woman, and I don't need anyone. But when you really want a hug from someone who isn't one of your children, it makes it hard. I really would like a partner, someone to spend time with. However, I can't shake the feeling that when it comes right down to it, men are all basically the same.

As far as the family goes, we made the decision to put my mother in a nursing home. A girl that I work with was talking about how strong I was, and that it was amazing that I can talk about it without breaking down. I pointed out that it's not like this was a snap decision. Mom has been going downhill fast for a very long time. I have grieved. I have cried. I still have moments where it hits me so hard that it feels like I took a lead pipe to the chest. But I have to be the adult now, and while it sucks, I don't really have much of a choice. We can't go on the way we have been and this is really the best decision for everyone.
 
So with that, dear readers I wrap up my update. Hope you are all doing well and holding out hope for an early spring.